Big..Big World

I'm a big, big girl

In a big, big world

It's not a big, big thing

If you leave me

But I do, do feel

That I do, do will

Miss you much

Miss you much


I can see the first leaves falling

It's all so yellow and nice

It's so very cold outside

Like the way I'm feeling inside

I'm a big, big girl

In a big, big world

It's not a big, big thing

If you leave me

But I do, do feel

That I do, do will

Miss you much

Miss you much


Outside it is now raining

And tears are falling from my eyes

Why did it have to happen?

Why did it all have to end?

I'm a big, big girl

In a big, big world

It's not a big, big thing

If you leave me

But I do, do feel

That I do, do will

Miss you much

Miss you much

I have your arms around me

Warm like fire

But when I open my eyes  

You're gone

I'm a big, big girl

In a big, big world

It's not a big, big thing

If you leave me

But I do, do feel

That I do, do will

Miss you much

Miss you much 

=====ooo=====

Diluar beneran hujan
So, This is it (kah??)
It's Finally "THE FINAL COUNTDOWN"
Guess there is no one to blame
Will things ever be the same again?
Big girl is (trying) not (to) cry
 

***mgs*** 

Wednesday "Busy" Machine

It's been a week since my last post..

Seperti biasa, kalau Rabu saya pasti tune in Wednesday Slow Machine di salah satu radio favorit. Slow song, slow music..good song..

Siang ini sepertinya semua teman saya sedang sibuk dengan pekerjaannya, while saya malah free kalau Rabu. Hmmm, sedikit "sepi" sih yaaa, tapi alhamdulilah mereka artinya sedang konsentrasi memberikan karya terbaik untuk pekerjaannya, dirinya dan juga dunia ini. Mau mengajak bincang-bincang jadi gak enak sendiri. Nanti malah jatuhnya disturbing. Kalaupun mereka memang available, pastinya komen saya cepat di respon. BBM saya pun pasti dibalas, tidak hanya "R" yang tampak setelah beberapa jam lalu, dan tidak ada berita apapun hingga sekarang. Biarkanlah, I don't want to be a disturbance people, sebagaimana saya juga tidak ingin diganggu, jika saya sedang ingin sendiri (*hmmm, pernahkah??).

Talking about BBM, hmmm serasa menghitung hari nih, counting the days, either tomorrow or lusa, that day will finally come. Entah seperti apa nanti jadinya. Entah seperti apa rasa yang akan ada di saya. Bisa jadi situasi ini merupakan preview for that. Iya ya, anggap saja seperti itu. Walaupun (katanya) masih banyak cara, masih banyak media yang bisa dipakai, namun kog ya saya tidak yakin, apakah sama intensitasnya dengan cara selama ini. 

*Waahh ada Alanis nih di earphone saya, menulis dengan mendengar suara Alanis selalunya bikin saya semakin meleleh..hehehe....tapi belum tau nih apa judulnya lagu ini...nanti search deh.

And I found it!!!

Reborn and shivering
Spat out on new terrain

Unsure unconvincing
This faint and shaky hour

Day one day one start over again
Step one step one
I'm barely making sense for now
I'm faking it I'm pseudo making it
From scratch begin again but this time I as I
And not as we

Gun shy and quivering
Timid without a hand

Feign brave with steel intent
little and hardly here

Day one day one start over again
Step one step one
with not much making sense just yet

 I'm faking it til I'm pseudo making it
From scratch begin again but this time I as I
And not as we

Eyes wet toward
Wide open frayed
If God's taking bets
I pray He wants to lose

Day one day one start over again
Step one step one
I'm barely making sense just yet
I'm faking it til I'm pseudo making it
From scratch begin again but this time I as I
And not as we 

............................................

Kembali ke permasalahan tadi, should I erase the PIN yang selama ini setia berada di contact list saya sejak awal Januari 2012?. Jika memang benar fasilitas smartphone ini tidak akan digunakannya lagi mulai awal Juni nanti, buat apa ya masih saya taruh di list? Yang ada nanti saya intip terus dan saya akan terlihat sangat bodoh sekali, hehehehe. Tapi jika saya erase, if someday fasilitas tersebut diaktifkan kembali, saya nanya PIN ulang donk. Hadeehhhh, ribeeed deeehh sama diri sendiri. 

It's been more than 2 hours since my last BBM turn into "R" notification, and still there's no reply at all. Perhaps benar apa yang Alanis bilang "From scratch begin again, but this time I as I....And not as we"

Perhaps that's our last BBM, if tomorrow the package is not active anymore.

***mgs***

WSM

Sitting alone at my cubicle

Listen to WSM by earphone

Seal my lips

Keep this silence situation

Accidentally, makes me feel like stumble and fall again

Strong feeling that I thought I already have..suddenly disappear

Imagine the days will come and I have to face it no matter what

Counting the days

Counting the days

Counting the days

Until that day is finally come........

***mgs***

Good Enough

 

I've got an aching in my bones
I've been exposed to what I want to see
The fuse is burning somewhere; it's drenched in heat
it's where I long to be

There's always two sides you don't have to suffer
If this is heaven then send me to hell
So stay in the light, don't take your eyes from the prize
Hey, there goes the bell

If it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me
It's good enough for two, it's what I want to see 

Sing a song as the sun does rise
if you don't ask questions and you don't know what
There's a bridge to the other side
don't take your eyes from the prize

There's always two sides you don't have to suffer
If this is heaven then send me to hell
So stay in the light, don't take your eyes from the prize
Hey, there goes the bell

If it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me
It's good enough for two, it's what I want to see

You'd like me to buy mind,
The situation may never find

If it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me
It's good enough for two, it's what I want to see 

(Dodgy ~ Good Enough) 

.....................................................................

The mind has set

What else can I say 

If that's Good for You

Then I guess

It's Good for me as well.. 

:)

***mgs***

Saybia - The Second You Sleep

You close your eyes
And leave me naked by your side
You close the door so I can't see
The love you keep inside
The love you keep for me

It fills me up
It feels like living in a dream
It fills me up so I can't see
The love you keep inside
The love you keep for me

I stay
To watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you'll be gone
It gives me time to stay
To watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you'll be gone
I wish by God you'd stay

I stay awake
I stay awake and watch you breathe
I stay awake and watch you fly
Away into the night
Escaping through a dream

I stay
To watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you'll be gone
It gives me time to stay
To watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you'll be gone
I wish by God you'd stay

Heeyyyyy
Staaaaaayyy

Stay awake
Stay
Stay

I wish by God you'd stay 

***mgs***

a - two weeks - notice

Dear WOM,

Entah kenapa siang ini mendadak banyak pertanyaan berputar di kepala saya. Kalau secara logika, seharusnya saya tidak perlu memikirkan hal tersebut, karena memang bukan masalah saya. Namun kembali entah kenapa ya jadi terpikir juga, karena mau ga mau, benar atau salah, saya merasa telah menjadi bagian dari itu. Mungkin karena saya diberitahu sebelumnya dan hal ini terlibat juga didalamnya. Bingung kan? hmm, samaaaa...

Saking rasanya kepala ini berbicara terus, sampai-sampai susah untuk diungkapkan dengan lisan. Maunya sih tanya, tapi kog rasanya kurang etis, karena kembali tidak ada hak apa-apa yang saya miliki untuk mengajukan pertanyaan tersebut. Makanya WOM, seperti yang sudah saya bilang ke kamu sebelumnya, kamu sekarang menjadi tempat saya bercerita. Termasuk tempat saya mengajukan pertanyaan-pertanyaan tanpa saya berharap akan mendapatkan jawaban atas pertanyaan itu. Biarkan hanya kamu and let it be in my mind. Saya tidak berharap pertanyaan ini akan menjadi satu bahasan, sebagaimana saya juga berharap, saya tidak harus memberikan satu penjelasan apa pun dan kepada siapa pun tentang ini.

Meninggalkan segala 'media' dengan tujuan berusaha untuk menjadi fokus, menjadi total, dan mendapatkan kembali apa yang selama ini terlihat sulit untuk diperoleh. Efektif kah cara ini? Yaahhh, sepertinya sih (menurutnya) efektif dan mungkin akan berefek besar nanti (belum tahu pastinya bagaimana). Tapi apakah tepat sasarannya? atau maaf jika saya mengambil istilah "kambing hitam" dalam hal ini. Rasanya langkah yang akan ditempuh saat ini bisa jadi merupakan "kambing hitam" saja, karena deep down inside saya tahu, there's something that cannot be take away, there is something that cannot be forget. Jangan kan untuk beneran lupa atau erase...even baru mencoba pun saya rasa belum bisa dilakukannya, jika memang mau jujur ya. Kenapa saya bisa berpendapat seperti itu, karena setiap bahas tentang hal itu atau mungkin berkaitan dengan hal itu, selalunya terlihat bahagia, seru, happy, atau dengan icon-icon terpasang, hehehehee...bukan urusan sayah yaaaah :D

Hanya terlintas kembali di pemikiran saya...

Dengan arti kata meninggalkan dan melepaskan segala 'kebelengguan', benarkah? Dan mungkinkah??

Yaaaaaah, harusnya meninggalkan dan melepaskan 'BELENGGU' jika memang 'TOTAL' adalah TUJUAN utama yg hendak DIWUJUDKAN

Namun akankah? Bisakah?? atau Mungkinkah????............

Block all medias...but deep down, there is something that cannot be blocked or not even try to be blocked...is it effective????

***mgs***

WOM

Dear World Of Magas,

Seems that start from now, you are officially become my place

Place where I spend and share lots of things

Place where I can be myself with my own thought

Ruang dimana saya dapat -sejenak- menanggalkan segala 'atribut' dan 'aksesoris'

Ruang dimana saya dapat berpendapat, tanpa harus berbuntut penjelasan

Ruang dimana saya dapat bertanya, tanpa harus mengharap jawaban 

Ruang dimana saya dapat bernyanyi

Ruang dimana saya dapat berteriak

Ruang dimana saya dapat berbulir

Please be nice to me :)

***mgs***