Pagi ini salah satu teman saya share link wacana dibawah ini. Admitted or not, this things happen in real life. This is a good sharing, so I would like to post in here for my own. Thank you for the link ya ^__^.
Infidelity - You Can Forgive, But Can You Ever Forget?
By
Mani Jack
You can forgive but you can't forget. Some people just can't forget
because God gave us one annoying gift which is called "ego". Why can't
we forget infidelity in a relationship? Read on.
Can you name me a
person who can forget their sad memories in this world?If you are still
wondering of the answer, I have a few for you. One of them is a man or a
woman who was involved in a tragic car accident in which he or she had
lost a part of her brain and completely forgot everything including his
of her name.In other words, he or she was paralyzed. The second person
is the one who is mentally unsound and has to go to the hospital twice
or thrice a month for medical treatment in order to control their behavior. The third person is the one who has never been involved in a
serious relationship for the rest of their their life. Obviously,
forgetting infidelity in marriage is undeniably impossible.
Let me
talk about love first. Like it or not, men and women will fall in love
again after marriage. Why do I say so? As we get married, we experience
the true definition of marriage. In other words, marriage is equal to
reality. Marriage is a mixture of sad and happy moments. When a person
is not happy over a marriage due to his or her failure to adapt to the
ever changing changes and to accept that marriage is not a bed of roses,
he or she will try to look for somebody to fill in the man-made
emptiness. Emptiness in marriage is man-made because each party has
failed to play their roles.
Husband and wife must constantly look for mutual understanding
between them. They must try their best every second, every hour, and
everyday to remember their sweet moments, sacrifices, and continuously
learn how to keep the fire burning. Once the fire stops burning,
infidelity steps into one's marriage.
Falling in love with another person after marriage can be avoided if both parties are willing to reduce their ego.
Excessive
ego gradually eats up a relationship as each party refuses to voice out
their opinions or dissatisfaction over small things which gradually
grow bigger day by day. As home becomes a prison or a man-made library,
the tendency to look for a new life partner begins. Infidelity occurs
when a person allows himself or herself to go deeper into the affair. A
husband or a wife refuses to express his or her true feelings at home.
Eventually, a good listener will appear at workplace which finally
becomes his or her "savior". The relationship will go deeper when he or
she has forgotten his or her marital status. It is like being
addicted to drug. It gets worse when that person believes that this new
person suits him or her well even though he or she has yet to see the
ending, which usually breeds incurable wounds especially when he or she
is caught cheating.
When a person is caught cheating, is it
possible to bury the hatchet? It is possible if both parties are willing
to analyze the causes. However, we can never forget infidelity because
our brain is incomparable to CPU in the computer as we do not have the
"delete" button in our brain.
Can infidelity be avoided? Yes. I have some suggestions for anyone
online who is married or about to get married. First of all, before you
marry someone, please ask yourself this simple but deep question. Did I
choose him or her because of love? In my point of view, go for love
first. Then, go for financial background. Financial security does not
guarantee success in a marriage because if you marry someone because of
money, you might find someone whom you really love upon marriage. Don't
be afraid if a person you are about to marry is not rich because wealth
is built by constant love and care. After all, we can lose our wealth in
the blink of an eye when there is no love and care.
Secondly,
avoid being a very good listener to someone because he or she might ruin
your relationship as listening activity involves intense feelings which
finally becomes a major cause of a divorce. Helping someone is no doubt
a very good attitude in the eye's of God. But, the ending of helping
someone can be disastrous to one's marriage especially when your are
dealing with the opposite sex.
Thirdly, avoid comparing your spouse with
the ones you see at the workplace. Comparing produces comparison and
highlights weaknesses of your spouse. In the end, you might end up
admiring someone else. The beauty of your spouse is completely gone.
Fourthly, keep reminding yourself of the kindness of your spouse. Do not
deny its existence as it keeps the fire burning. Keep a distance away
from your spouse if you are a kind of a person who gets bored easily as
the old saying goes, distance gives life to a dying heart.
Finally, be
very careful with your decision. Your decision pictures your marriage
and sometimes foresee the development of your marriage.
May God
bless all of us. May God give you strengths and determination to fight
for a marriage for the rest of your life.
Thank you for reading.
..................................................
^ Guess the question that I have to ask to myself is "Can I avoid that circumstances and follow the advice?".....I don't have the answer now.
***mgs***
